MY LIFE, PART 31: The most terrible sound

Sometimes, when I know I haven’t made a mistake and I still concede a goal, I still feel like I’m standing back at the weirdly slanted pitch with the huge and heavy goal that doesn’t comply with any regulations. Like I’m back at Košutka.

The angle is right, I jump at the right moment, I use all my skills to make the damn save, but I’m two centimetres short. 

I’m almost positive the ball won’t make it into the goal, I touch it with my fingertips, but then I hear a hissing sound. Shhhhhhh!

It’s the ugliest sound in the world. I don’t even need to turn, I just know the ball stopped right where I never should have let it. 

Being a goalkeeper is a tremendous responsibility.

When you make a mistake in midfield, it can still be fixed.

When you don’t score from a clear chance, it doesn’t matter: there’ll be another chance. 

When you get sent off for a foul, there’s still ten people on the pitch who can finish the game for you. 

But when you make a mistake on the goal line, it can’t be undone. 

Goalkeeper is the last line of defence, which can be nerve-wracking and off-putting. But for me, it is a challenge. I got used to the feeling pretty quickly, it’s not gut-wrenching for me, it doesn’t wake me up at night anymore. 

If I was just sitting on the couch and torturing myself with the idea that it’s all just up to me before every match, I wouldn’t have a chance. I wouldn’t be able to achieve what I’ve achieved and keep doing what I do.

P.S. Next week - Chapter 32